Post Sailing Weekend Blues

 So life is back to normal. I am bored in the south trying to find a job and make a living as a supply teacher. I am missing my boat adventures already. I didn’t have time for anxiety, depression, thoughts, social media or anything on board. I was constantly moving and there was no down time. It was good for me, though being around so many experienced sailors brought up my own feelings of inadequacy. I felt so jealous of people who had been sailing all their lives but I took a different road in life. 

I took the academic path but sadly I turned out to have dyslexia and  k support or awareness from my family. If I had known perhaps I would have built a career around something like sailing which at first is taught in an auditory manner.

 I was reading yesterday about a possible connection between sailors and dyslexia. It’s a possible reason I have such a powerful connection to the sea. I have a great love for the ocean but doesn’t mean I instinctively know how to sail or anything. I might have done as a child. My sailing instructors were very pleased with  me. Sadly I didn’t keep up my sailing. I don’t know if my parents just couldn’t afford it, I don’t know. Anyway I lost my confidence with it all after I was randomly entered for a race and couldn’t remember how to sail. I had other difficult experiences which lead to me drifting away from the sea. I don’t know if that’s the price of undiagnosed dyslexia, or being bullied and teased and so forth. Life was tough back then. I remember how much SEN students were bullied and called stupid. I wasn’t classes as SEN but my dyslexia effected me. I used to cry in maths classes and I was incredibly shy. I did do well at History and I guess I moved on seapersonship (what I call it) and got into academics. It’s a shame. A shame I didn’t truly see it as a possible career. That I didn’t go power boating or learn geography and truly run away to sea. I might have been better off. My university days were terrible and I struggled to find work and any sort of understanding for my disability. 

So there is a lot to process  

The positive take away from some of life is I am able to connect to children with SEN needs and I have a teaching degree. If I become a sailor because I could help some children learn the wonders of the sea and blossom into themselves. But first off I need to learn to sail.