Beginnings (memories)

In the beginning, I was tiny. I was like all of us, I was small. And in the beginning, there was the beach and there were my parents and there was the sea. I can't remember where it was or when it was that I became aware of it all truly, but one day I recall I was swimming and trying to come back to the shore and I was caught up by the waves. I struggled to stand as I was thrown over and over again onto the stone beach. It hurt so much but I escaped the clutches of the sea. As I remember it- it sort of feels like a lesson. I never developed any sort of fear and I just shook off the strange encounter. Was I marked that day? Perhaps that is nonsensical to say. And I suspect it is. 

In the beginning, I was born in Portsmouth. I lived and worked in and around the historical dockyard. And day in and day out the ships would come in and out and the far horizon would fire my imagination. I wrote poetry, read books about the sea, and did what many children do. I became fascinated by that liminal expanse. I wonder if all children have similar experiences who were raised by the sea. I have only talked about it with so many people. 

I guess back then we didn't even have a computer. I was an only child and I had to entertain myself. I took out dusty books and read them, really dusty books. I guess there was the time to develop a deep interest. I had few distractions and no siblings. 

Before I left Portsmouth a friend told me that I would come back one day. That once you have lived by the sea you can not live by the sea. Well....surely this is romanticism? But some corner of my soul knows it is true.

Not everyone loves the sea. I guess it depends on how you have experienced it. I have been lucky so far and long may it remain so. 

One day I forgot the sea. I am not sure why. Perhaps there was no reason. Maybe I just needed different things. I didn't think about it all for twenty-odd years. But one day I had this urge to move back to the south coast, and on the south coast, I remain. 

I guess my friend was right- once you have lived by the sea- to the sea you will return.